There is a new normal in town, and it is called COVID-19. Everything from our daily routines, our finances, our shopping habits, our living arrangements, our social interactions and now also our exercise routines have changed. Also our sex lives! But probably not our sexual desires… While this new normal may be a time of restrictions, it is also a time for creativity and exploration.
COVID-19 is obviously not a sexually transmitted infection, however physical contact during sex carries a high risk of transmission. Casual sex is thus strongly discouraged, and health experts advise us to stay at home. During this time of social distancing and isolation, many of us are thus wondering if it is still possible to have safe and pleasurable sex. Of course, it is! You may just not be able to go about business as usual – and this can be a very good thing, right!? Whether you are single or partnered up, living alone or with people, this is the time to think of and explore inventive ways to achieve (and maybe to give) sexual pleasure while also to stay safe from COVID-19 and other STIs. We are here to offer a few pointers of how to use technology as well as alone time to your advantage.
Before we move ahead, remember that CONSENT is VERY SEXY. Any form of sex MUST be consensual – be it virtual or in person, with an established partner or a new person. This includes not taking advantage of someone being with you in your house – for whatever reason – to have non-consensual sex with them. Also, even if you have a partner, they are under no obligation to have sex with you in person or in text, audio or pictures. Always make sure to have consent to start, share and continue any kind of sexual conversation, imaginary or act. Ever heard your partner say yes when you get it on? Remember how sexy that is? Wait for consent, it is sexy. We do not want any cases of sexual harassment after lockdown, especially within the LGBTIQ community.
Sexy ways to keep a distance:
Have a solo session or many.
Masturbation is a safe way of socially distancing while also being a wonderfully fulfilling activity. Often, we masturbate really quickly but this time take it slow, get to enjoy and (re)discover yourself – maybe practice different positions that would make it more intense and pleasurable to help you get the big O (not that the orgasm needs to be the goal of masturbation or sex). Don’t be afraid to use toys, lube and other things you can and want to experiment with. Masturbation can not only satisfy you sexually and make it easier for you to stay indoors but is also a good way for you to explore what you like and what you would like others to do with and to you.
Be tech savvy (and sexy).
Technology is a wonderful thing during these COVID-19 times, and offers you plenty of ways to express your sexuality. Your phone and laptop allow you to have audio and visual sex through calls, sexting, sharing of images and video. In addition to consent, remember to keep cyber security and privacy in mind. Shared photos or videos may be leaked or showed to unintended audiences, and you may therefore consider not including your face or distinguishing body marks. Having said that, remember that there is no right way to have video or phone sex (well, consensual video and phone sex is the right way). It is all about painting a picture and creating a scenario. Therefore, during video or audio calls do not hold back, , be as graphic as you want. Paint a picture for the person(s) of what you feel like doing to yourself and to them and what, ask them what they are doing to themselves and what they would like you to do, ask them to say your name, ask them to moan for you or look you in the eyes. Anything that will make you both feel good and satisfied.
Date away – online!
This is definitely not the time to be arranging dates or hook-ups, however having a scroll through dating apps is not a bad idea at all. This could be the perfect time to (virtually) meet the future-love-of-your-life / best-sex-ever. Start a conversation, have a chat, get to know each other online now and meet in person later. COVID-19 after all gives you something to talk about, right? If you like each other and want to date, you can use apps like WhatsApp to have dinner dates or drinks (whichever number, yes many people can have dinner online), who knows where this could lead? Being indoors shouldn’t withhold you from having good meals or meeting people online… . Think about it as laying the groundwork for future bliss.
When in social isolation together.
Kiss away. Kissing is one of the ways one can get #COVID-19 be sure to make out with a person you have been self isolating with When you do kiss, don’t be quick to end it, enjoy the experience. Make sure you brushed your teeth, and take those slow, sweet sensory kisses, eat out your partner’s soul before you get to finally doing the deed. You have the time, we are on lock down.
Read or listen to erotica.
Erotica can tickle your mind, provide a reprieve from COVID-19 madness, and give you ideas for sexy times post-COVID-19. Remember, this too will pass! In erotica, you will get to read about your own and other people’s fantasies and maybe get to learn a lot about your own sexuality and how you can get sexual pleasure. You may even consider writing your own erotica to share or to just enjoy yourself, or to write erotic tales for and with your partner(s) Who knows, you may discover a new talent or two?
Get handsy together.
You can masturbate with your partner on the other side of the phone, if you cannot be together because of the lock down, just listen to each other, be reassuring and enjoy the journey of phone sex. This can be a way for you and your partner(s) to get to know more about what each other like and want to try.
(Re)discover your house (roles).
If you are cooped up with your partner, you could also alternate the spaces where you have your sexual escapades. You can role play, get to be somebody else for the day you can even introduce toys and get to explore your fantasies.
Safety .
If you have sex with a person with a penis or you use and/or share sex toys (vibrators, dildos and so forth), remember to use and change the condoms. This can reduce contact with fluids during sexual contact this reduces your risk of contacting COVID-19.
Wash before and after sex is now more important than ever this helps reduce your chances of getting infected with COVID-19.
It is important to disinfect the spaces that you have sex, especially if you have it with someone else or live with other people, before and after to reduce your chances of getting infected.
